Saturday Humor

It All Comes Back Around

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 17 success is . . . having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . . . having a driver's license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

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It Started With An iPhone

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

September came by, so for my wife's birthday I bought her an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started...

What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This unfortunately activated the iNag app.

Which led me to the iHospital and iGet out Thursday.

Received from Doug Taylor.

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The Apprentice

Mike graduated from high school and began looking into his career options. He considered private business, university, technical college, and a wide variety of other professions, but eventually he decided on an apprenticeship program for plumbers since it was the only place he could get on-the-job draining.

Received from Stan Kegel.

  

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It's Fixed!

My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read:  "Check for clunking sound when going around corners."

Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.

Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: "Remove bowling ball from trunk."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

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Elder Age Texting Codes

ATD = at the doctor

BFF = best friend fell

BTW = bring the wheelchair

BYOT = bring your own teeth

FWIW = forgot where I was

GGPBL = gotta go, pacemaker battery low

GHA = got heartburn again

IMHO = is my hearing aid on?

LMDO = laughing my dentures out

OMMR = on my massage recliner

ROFLACGU = rolling on floor laughing and can't get up

Received from RichnAnna.